You hear it all the time. If you’ve got a problem you can’t solve, get a professional. In other words, if you’ve got a conflict you can’t solve, you seek out a conflict coach, a mediator, a therapist, or counselor. Even when you can use some advice from a good book, there is always the need of external support.
Many of us balk at these choices because we see them as things other people do, other people who don’t know how to help themselves. This is probably the wrong mindset…because we tend to deny the personal impact of an unhappy, or worst, a violent marriage. Take some minutes to use this chart and evaluate where you are now…it will help you clarify your situation and reach some decisions.
| COST | HOW TO APPRAISE IT |
|---|---|
| 1. LOST LIFETIME | Realizing that you married the wrong partner implies also taking into account the years of your life invested in this project. Beyond the learning, you need to manage the perception that you have lost several years of your life, that could have been dedicated to the pursuit of other venues of happiness. Regret, remorse or self-recrimination can appear. |
| 2. SUB-OPTIMAL DECISION-MAKING BECAUSE OF STRESS |
Avoidance of important work/ career decisions because they collide with your relationship; subtract some good opportunities and deserved rewards from your life. |
| 3. COSTLY ALTERNATIVES TO BEST LIVING OR WORKING ARRANGEMENTS |
If divorce or separation follows marital conflict, duplication of housing costs, travel costs, and other expenses. Retirement savings lost. |
| 4. DESTRUCTION OR LOSS OF VALUABLE CONNECTIONS (Risk Of Alienation Of Relatives, Friends, Co-Workers) |
Your network of friends and Emotional cost: Isolation, self-doubt, |
| 5. LOSS OF PERSONAL PROPERTY | Conflict forces sometimes to change locations and to dispose of personal property in a fast way, giving away or abandoning dear possessions accumulated along life. |
| 6. LEGAL COSTS (If Divorce) |
If divorcing through an adversarial Beyond financial expenses, |
| 7. STRESS-RELATED COSTS:
Psychotherapy, |
Constant conflict-related stress Cost can include from general |
|
8. THINK OF THE COST YOU PAY NOW FOR YOUR OWN |
Realize that without help and support, any emotional conflict that you can’t handle efficiently will only get worse. Like a credit card you’re not paying off, the interest only gets higher and higher – you lose more and more love, support, and trust in yourself and others pursuing and staying in your toxic relationships. To get help and start your healing process today, simply contact Coach Nora! |
You can always talk to Coach Nora now
, and ask for support to heal the damage!
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