You hear it all the time. If you’ve got a problem you can’t solve, get a professional. In other words, if you’ve got a conflict you can’t solve, you seek out a conflict coach, a mediator, a therapist, or counselor. Even when you can use some advice from a good book, there is always the need of external support.
Many of us balk at these choices because we see them as things other people do, other people who don’t know how to help themselves. This is probably the wrong mindset…because we tend to deny the personal impact of an unhappy, or worst, a violent marriage. Take some minutes to use this chart and evaluate where you are now…it will help you clarify your situation and reach some decisions.
|COST||HOW TO APPRAISE IT|
|1. LOST LIFETIME||Realizing that you married the
wrong partner implies also taking
into account the years of your life
invested in this project. Beyond the
learning, you need to manage the
perception that you have lost
several years of your life, that could
have been dedicated to the pursuit
of other venues of happiness.
Regret, remorse or
self-recrimination can appear.
|2. SUB-OPTIMAL DECISION-MAKING
BECAUSE OF STRESS
|Avoidance of important work/
career decisions because they
collide with your relationship;
subtract some good opportunities
and deserved rewards from
|3. COSTLY ALTERNATIVES TO BEST LIVING OR WORKING
|If divorce or separation follows
marital conflict, duplication of
housing costs, travel costs, and
other expenses. Retirement savings lost.
|4. DESTRUCTION OR LOSS OF
(Risk Of Alienation Of Relatives,
Your network of friends and
Emotional cost: Isolation, self-doubt,
|5. LOSS OF PERSONAL PROPERTY||Conflict forces sometimes to
change locations and to dispose of
personal property in a fast way,
giving away or abandoning dear
possessions accumulated along life.
|6. LEGAL COSTS (If Divorce)||
If divorcing through an adversarial
Beyond financial expenses,
|7. STRESS-RELATED COSTS:
Constant conflict-related stress
Cost can include from general
8. THINK OF THE COST
YOU PAY NOW FOR YOUR OWN
|Realize that without help and
support, any emotional conflict that
you can’t handle efficiently will
only get worse. Like a credit card
you’re not paying off, the interest
only gets higher and higher
– you lose more and more love,
support, and trust in yourself
and others pursuing and staying
in your toxic relationships.
To get help and start your
healing process today, simply
contact Coach Nora!