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You are here: Home / Abusive Relationship / What is the cost of living with personal conflict?

What is the cost of living with personal conflict?

November 5, 2020 by Nora Femenia Leave a Comment

What is the cost of living with personal conflict?

You hear it all the time. If you’ve got a problem you can’t solve, get a professional. In other words, if you’ve got a conflict you can’t solve, you seek out a conflict coach, a mediator, a therapist, or counselor. Even when you can use some advice from a good book, there is always the need of external support.

Many of us balk at these choices because we see them as things other people do, other people who don’t know how to help themselves. This is probably the wrong mindset…because we tend to deny the personal impact of an unhappy, or worst, a violent marriage. Take some minutes to use this chart and evaluate where you are now…it will help you clarify your situation and reach some decisions.

 

 

 

COST HOW TO APPRAISE IT
1. LOST LIFETIME Realizing that you married the
wrong partner implies also taking
into account the years of your life
invested in this project. Beyond the
learning, you need to manage the
perception that you have lost
several years of your life, that could
have been dedicated to the pursuit
of other venues of happiness.
Regret, remorse or
self-recrimination can appear.
2. SUB-OPTIMAL DECISION-MAKING
BECAUSE OF STRESS
Avoidance of important work/
career decisions because they
collide with your relationship;
subtract some good opportunities
and deserved rewards from
your life.
3. COSTLY ALTERNATIVES TO BEST LIVING OR WORKING
ARRANGEMENTS
If divorce or separation follows
marital conflict, duplication of
housing costs, travel costs, and
other expenses. Retirement savings lost.
4. DESTRUCTION OR LOSS OF
VALUABLE CONNECTIONS
(Risk Of Alienation Of Relatives,
Friends, Co-Workers)

Your network of friends and
coworkers take sides and withdraw
support. Opportunities disappear or are blocked because the necessary
connections are lost.

Emotional cost: Isolation, self-doubt,
hesitance to develop new
connections; fear of being hurt
again. Self-esteem can diminish or
disappear if people who love
you are not supporting you.

5. LOSS OF PERSONAL PROPERTY Conflict forces sometimes to
change locations and to dispose of
personal property in a fast way,
giving away or abandoning dear
possessions accumulated along life.
6. LEGAL COSTS (If Divorce)

If divorcing through an adversarial
procedure, going to court will
take endless expenses difficult
to estimate, like lawyer’s time.

Beyond financial expenses,
there is all the grief of going
 to court and having to tell
again your marital pains.
Included here should be the
expenses allocated to child
support.

7. STRESS-RELATED COSTS:

 

 

 

Psychotherapy,
Clinical Visits,
Medical Treatments

Constant conflict-related stress
produces psychosomatic impacts,
and a general diminution of health
and well-being. Being unhappy
is a lot of grief and it takes a toll
in your body which is worst if domestic violence is present.

Cost can include from general
practitioner visits to heal from PTSD,
compulsive eating, migraines,
ulcers, weight gain, and other body-mind ailments, to psychotherapy.

8. THINK OF THE COST

YOU PAY NOW FOR YOUR OWN
EMOTIONAL CONFLICTS?

Realize that without help and
support, any emotional conflict that
you can’t handle efficiently will
only get worse. Like a credit card
you’re not paying off, the interest
only gets higher and higher
– you lose more and more love,
support, and trust in yourself
and others pursuing and staying
in your toxic relationships.
To get help and start your
healing process today, simply
contact Coach Nora!


You can always talk to Coach Nora now
, and ask for support to heal the damage! 

 

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Filed Under: Abusive Relationship Tagged With: abusive husband, crazy making

About Nora Femenia

Nora Femenia, Ph.D. Relationship Advisor and Conflict Coach

Helping people see through their current relationship pains and trace a path to a better, richer life, where they can be emotionally satisfied and develop their life purpose with joy and confidence.

Before offering my experience as a Conflict Coach, I had a successful career as a family therapist for more than 20 years, where I also worked as a mediator and conflict resolver.

After widening my career to include online coaching I have learned to overcome time and distance obstacles so as to provide reliable assistance to clients around the globe. Experience has shown that in most cases I can help people out of very hard situations by helping them to observe the situation from an external perspective.

I’m still discovering the laws of the universe concerning why relationships can deliver so much happiness and hold the potential for us to develop and fulfill our life purpose. Each time I discover a new trick, I’m happy because my clients will get it too...

I have developed, along all my experiences, a direct approach to people’s dilemmas where I can pinpoint where is the pain, and offer fast solutions that work. I care about my clients, so I offer free orientation sessions.

I teach Conflict Resolution at graduate level at Florida International University and do frequent international consulting and training on demand.

You are invited to get in touch with me:

Email: nora@creativeconflictresolutions.com
Twitter: peacewonk
My books: https://amazon.com/author/norafemenia

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